Skater Blog

**Posts made in the Skater Blog may or may not represent every member of The Chicago Outfit Roller Derby League**
Posted on April 5, 2014 in UncategorizedLeave a comment

The Chicago Outfit will be hosting their annual Spaghetti Wrestling event tonight, Saturday April 5th, 2014!

Paul Bunion (#smashtag) vs. Babe the Big Blue Ox (Keli Ka-POW-k8s), Spaghetti 2013. Copyright Steve Stearns.

What is Spaghetti Wrestling? Exactly what it sounds like.

Here are some stories from spaghet-vets:

“I wrestled #smashtag last year because I had a huge crush on her and so I asked her to wrestle me.  We were Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, mostly because I wanted to see her in a cute lumberjack costume.  From there, the rest is kind of history, we are still together one year later.”- Keli Ka-POW-sk8s

“The very first Spaghetti Wrestling event we ever had, I wrestled in.  There were no themes, just a pool of spaghetti, and the lot of us in old shirts and shorts ready to get full of Semolina.  I made the mistake of drinking 5 shots of whiskey beforehand, lost my match against a spider monkey and immediately ran to the bathroom where I projectile vomited into the nearest toilet (+100 points for landing every single drop in the bowl).  Golden rule of this event is to keep it sober until you win.’
- Suzie Crotchrot

“I discovered superhuman strength taking tons of spaghetti to the dumpster. It took a whole village to clean up, because we needed to get rid of 200 lbs of spaghetti! We had to tip the dumpster over. Somehow we got strangers to help us. I think they were intrigued by the noodles.”
- Goose Cannon

“My first experience with volunteer work on the Outfit involved a letter, a giggly explanation, and 50 lbs of donated spaghetti. Thank you, Sam’s Club! They do a certain amount of donations per month, so I just had to get a request letter in, talk to the manager to explain how wholesome it really was, and then they agreed!”
- Pippi Long Smackings

Doors open at 8:00 p.m. at the Double Door at 1572 N. Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, IL 60622. The wrestlers take to the pool at 9:00 p.m. sharp: come early to secure the perfect spot to watch all the pasta-pounding action. Presale tickets can be purchased for $7 from any Chicago Outfit skater. Tickets may also be purchased at the door for $10.  For discounted tickets at the door, simply bring canned food donations. Every two cans of food is a dollar discount, for a maximum of $5 for 10 cans. Food donations will benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

The Chicago Outfit proudly partners with Vaudezilla Burlesque for Spaghetti Wrestling this year; Vaudezilla will perform the opening act, and a dance party hosted by DJ Vader will follow the main event.

Posted on February 26, 2014 in Skater ArticlesLeave a comment

There’s nothing quite like the rush of new love! This last post in our Outfit Love series features new Outfit skaters sharing their feels for the team and each other.

L. On Wheels, Fox Force and Scarlett Bruiser volunteer in Evanston.

L. On Wheels, Fox Force and Scarlett Bruiser volunteer in Evanston.

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Posted on February 23, 2014 in Skater Articles, The FamilyLeave a comment

As skaters, we’re plagued with all sorts of issues, especially with (wait for it….) FEET!

Up until recently, I’ve taken the simple pleasure of being able to walk, let alone skate, for granted.

To those with toe/feet/ankle problems, pains, surgeries, etc.  -  THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOU! :)

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Posted on February 20, 2014 in Skater Articles, The FamilyLeave a comment
AltheaN. Hell's First Scrimmage Back, 2014. Feelin' the love!

Althea N. Hell’s First Scrimmage Back, 2014. Feelin’ the love!

Dear Chicago Outfit,

I love you!


Quack! Credit: Steve Stearns

Lately, I have been doing a lot of introspective thinking about my time on The Outfit, and this has helped me realize exactly why I am in love with my league. When I joined The Outfit, I had no idea what I was getting into, and soon, my time was consumed by working to help make this league great. In so doing, I have formed bonds and friendships that will last much longer than my time as a skater. When you go through struggle with others, you are automatically bound in some way with those people.
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Posted on February 16, 2014 in Skater Articles, The Family 1 Comment

Love is in the air! The Chicago Outfit will be revealing their derby crushes, dishing about derby wives and spilling what they love most about the Family. It’s Valentine’s Day all month long!  Our first derby crush reveal is Fox Force #5, a second-season Shakedown skater.

Fox Force #5 and Flutter make a fierce team at the Outfit's May 11, 2013 bout. Courtesy of: 9 Muses Photo

Fox Force #5 and Flutter make a fierce team at the Outfit’s May 11, 2013 bout. Credit: 9 Muses Photo

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Posted on February 12, 2014 in News, The FamilyLeave a comment
Join the Family - No Skates Required!

Join the Family – No Skates Required!

by Strong Female Character

“Wait, what do you mean you won’t be skating?”

My name is Strong Female Character, and I am an official for The Chicago Outfit.  More specifically, I divide my time as a referee and as an NSO, a non-skating official.  While I love donning the stripes of a ref, my journey over the past year and a half as an NSO has been incredible.

“So, wait, if I came to a game, would I see YOU”
“But I thought you’d be on skates?!”

Here’s the thing about being an NSO:  It’s not a flashy job.  We keep score, track penalties, and record who’s on the track.  We’re perfectionists.  There are very few NSO positions where non-officials notice you, unless something goes wrong. NSOs make sure that the bout clock is accurate, that penalties are served, and that post-game stats are accurate and useful.  It’s harder than it looks, but it’s exciting and fun and totally fulfilling. Without NSOs, the game would not function as you know it.
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